All Is Not What It Seems

I can be irreverent and sarcastic. I can be inconsiderate and superficial. I can be oblivious and inattentive. All these traits have been whispering to me when I've written some of my posts. I also can be gracious, loving and kind. I can be thoughtful, understanding and respectful. I can be sensitive, generous and altruistic. (What a relief! I hope you agree that my good traits outweigh the bad.) Lately, the whisperings of my bad traits have grown louder as I've been directed in one way or another to other blogs - ones that provide inspiration to a whole lotta people.

Most notably, the fantastically written and awe-inspiring blog, momastery.com.  In one of her most recent blogs, she talked of truth-telling. It got me thinking . . . by reading my blog and knowing me in the "real" world, you may get the impression that I live a pretty good life - trips, presents, shopping, my favorite things list, date nights galore thanks to doting grandparents, etc. My most talked about struggle right now might be getting into my jeans but I'm constantly struggling to be a better mother, wife, daughter, child of God, friend. You might be saying to yourself, "well, we all struggle with that" but I believe it is our life experiences that cause us to struggle. All of our souls have been hurt at one time or another and one person's pain is no less to them than yours is to you.

Like the tide, struggles ebb and flow. Right now, mine happen to have subsided. I'm so grateful to have found my husband -- and to have been smart enough to snatch him up. He's the one I need. He keeps me from going off the deep end. He's also given me two beautiful, talented, loving, compassionate boys. He works hard to provide us an extraordinary life. I may be full off bravado but I never lose sight of the fact that I have a fortunate and uncommon lifestyle.

For all the sunshine I've had in my life, darkness always found a way in. I'm debating whether or not to post "Truths About Me." I may have to have a glass of wine before I push the publish button. Probably most of you that read this blog have heard snippets of "the dark side." But I don't know that I've ever been able, or brave enough, to express myself fully about some of the events in my life. Some of it's heartbreaking, some of it's embarrassing, some of it's shameful. I don't think you'll judge me, but no offense, I don't really care. All of it has made me who I am today and with the exception of a few warts, I like me.