The Hand That Rocks the Cradle

is the hand that rules the world -- boy #1's world, boy #2's world, boy #3's world . . .  and the cat's world. Sweet lord, I have watched over, albeit not very closely, these boys' lives all day, taken their temperatures, knocked them out with Benadryl, wiped their heinies and tossed their extraordinary amount of soggy tissues til I have had enough. And tomorrow I'm sure I will make my 10,054 trip to the doctor just for an ear infection antibiotic prescription. Don't I deserve a good night's sleep and dreams of Matt Damon tonight?

And the cat - get this . . . she has irritable bowel syndrome. She is more finicky than Morris! Anything with chicken has been banned and she is begging like a dog. Pizza, pasta, cheese, you name it - she wants it. She is right up in your face. When she was a kitten, I discovered that she loved peanut butter and since then, I've found that she likes brown rice. Tonight I made her brown rice and mixed in some tuna fish. She turned up her nose! Forget it. She can starve. I know, I'm taking it too far.

For the main man, little does he know. How easy does he have it? OK, OK . . . not that easy if he has to put up with me but at least I try to take the pressure off and make things a little more entertaining. Helpful and considerate man that he is offered to make the trip to the grocery store for medicine so I made him a list. Just for kicks (mine only,) I made a list of the most embarrassing things I could think of:

• Stay Free Maxi Pads
• Monistat
• EPT Ovulation Kit
• Trojan XL For Her Pleasure (is there such a thing?!)
• KY Yours and Mine
• Fleet Suppositories

He tossed the list on the way out the door and all I got was the Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt I requested. Don't be fooled, I still rule his world!